<!DOCTYPE html>
<html>
<head>
<meta charset="UTF-8">
<title>No Other Shade of Blue by ghostuser901</title>
<style type="text/css">

body { background-color: #ffffff; }
.CI {
text-align:center;
margin-top:0px;
margin-bottom:0px;
padding:0px;
}
.center   {text-align: center;}
.cover    {text-align: center;}
.full     {width: 100%; }
.quarter  {width: 25%; }
.smcap    {font-variant: small-caps;}
.u        {text-decoration: underline;}
.bold     {font-weight: bold;}
</style>
</head>
<body>
<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/28038147">No Other Shade of Blue</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/ghostuser901/pseuds/ghostuser901'>ghostuser901</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Thor (Movies)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Angst, Fix-It, Heavy Angst, Jotunn Loki (Marvel), Loki Lives (Marvel), Post-Avengers: Endgame (Movie), Post-Endgame, Pseudo-Incest, Sad with a Happy Ending, kid of, one shot that may be continued, the ending is happy but still sad</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-12-13</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-12-13</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-11 00:14:41</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>General Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>1,432</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/28038147</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/ghostuser901/pseuds/ghostuser901</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>you knew the hero died, so what's the movie for?</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Loki &amp; Thor (Marvel), Loki/Thor (Marvel)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>6</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>48</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>No Other Shade of Blue</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>basically this is a one-shot/ possible 1st chapter of a headcanon I’ve had since I first watched endgame.<br/>-Loki survived Ragnarok and is now King of Jotunheim and came back via the portals and fought in the last battle against Thanos, in Jotunn form. This is set just after, when he and Thor are back in New Asgard- </p><p>i hope you enjoy it, title, summary, and opening paragraph are all lyrics from the song i highly suggest when reading this, hoax, by taylor swift. i listened to it on repeat whilst writing.</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <i>stood on the cliffside screaming, "give me a reason"<br/>
your faithless love's the only hoax I believe in<br/>
don't want no other shade of blue, but you<br/>
no other sadness in the world would do</i>
</p><p>--</p><p>“I watched you die,” Thor says, tone flat. He stares at Loki where he stands waiting in the doorway.</p><p>“I know,” Loki replies quietly, as gentle as he can. He takes in Thor’s appearance, cleaner than he last saw him, yet still remarkably dishevelled. It hurts more than he expected it to, and isn’t that a surprise? “I wasn’t quite dead though.”</p><p>Gods, he looks <i>broken.</i> There’s a sadness, a splintered defeat behind his eyes that Loki has never seen before as he asks, “How?”</p><p>Loki prides himself on his ability to articulate his words perfectly, to weave them into exactly what he desires other people to see. And yet, when it comes to speaking his heart, it’s like trying to untangle the thread where it’s caught in a trap. “When I woke you were gone. I presumed. I.” He takes a breath, maintaining composure. He meets Thor’s eyes as he says it, one shocking electric blue, the other molten gold. “I presumed you had gone to Valhalla.”</p><p>“You mean?” Thor asks. He sounds falsely curious, and the broken sparks in his eyes flash brighter. “You thought I was?”</p><p>“Yes.”</p><p>Thor says nothing for some time. He walks over to the other side of the room, examining the dust covered trinkets lining the windowsill. Uncertain, Loki ventures further in, eventually perching himself on the foot of the bed.</p><p>Thor turns to face him. “And what, exactly, did you do?”</p><p>“I. I was.” The pain in Thor’s eyes must be overflowing Loki thinks. He feels trapped in his gaze, unable to form thoughts. He’s drowning all over again. Ice sparks at his fingers and he pushes it down. “I hoped.”</p><p>“Yes?” Thor interrupts, and there it is, that old flare of anger, impatience. Loki feels part of himself rise to it, begging to let loose. But they’re being honest, here. At least, they’re trying. And for once, he can’t bring himself to break the spell that Thor’s gaze has held over him for centuries. The desire to tell him everything swells deep within him.</p><p>“I hoped you were still alive,” he says. It shouldn’t feel so much like a confession. </p><p>“You did?” Thor asks, and Loki can’t get a read on his emotion. It feels like looking at a stranger.</p><p>“Of cou-” he cuts off, biting back a sob that threatens to overtake him out of nowhere. He sets his jaw, refuses to let it overwhelm him. “Of course I did.”</p><p>“So then what?” Thor says, still <i>staring.</i> And Loki can’t. He can’t bring himself to tell the truth. Not when Thor is looking at him like that.</p><p>“I gathered myself together and I. I came back. I survived.”</p><p>By some miracle, Thor lets it go. Loki prays its not because of something he can see on his face, but he’s slowly losing his control. He can feel it slipping, and even the ice inside him can’t pull it back. Silence stretches. Minutes, hours pass. </p><p>He can’t take it anymore, and he breaks. “I found out that you were alive,” he says in a rush.</p><p>“What?” Thor’s eyes flash, a crystal thin spark of lightning spreads over his skin. Loki’s ice cracks in response. He doesn’t know how much longer he can go without breaking entirely.</p><p>“I knew you were alive,” he repeats with conviction.</p><p>Thor shoves himself off the sill, coming to stand directly in front of him. In this position, Loki has to crane his neck to look up at him, almost like he’s kneeling at his feet. Somehow it feels fitting. “And you didn’t come?” Thor asks, his voice rough.</p><p>“No.” Loki says, voice cracking on a whisper.</p><p>“Why?”</p><p>“I had a …” he searches for the word to explain it “… feeling.”</p><p>“A feeling?” Thor asks, brows drawing together.</p><p>“Yes. A feeling.” It’s not the right word for it, Loki knows. There’s no way to explain the bone deep knowledge that had consumed him, pulling him irrevocably forward. “Mother told me, long ago, it might happen. If I was to have a, a feeling, like that, I was to follow it. No matter what.”</p><p>Thor stays silent. Loki has no idea whether he believes him. He’s never been so hard to read, never so far away as he is now. But for once, he’s telling the truth.</p><p>Eventually, Thor asks, “And where did it take you?”</p><p>“Jotunheim,” Loki answers. “I. It took me to Jotunheim.”</p><p>“Right,” Thor says.</p><p>“I am the rightful heir to the throne,” Loki tries to justify. In truth, he has no idea why the ancient magic had taken him there. He had hoped the explanation would come to him here. But now he’s not so sure.</p><p>“Of course it did,” Thor says, hand twitching a half-gesture at Loki’s form. Ice blue. “So, you just walked in and took over?”</p><p>“Well, it took a bit persuading, but,” Loki says, stomach swooping at the tiny smile on Thor’s face at the sentiment, “essentially, yes.”</p><p>“So, you’re King of Jotunheim now then?” Thor says, expression hardening back to give nothing away. Frustration claws at Loki’s insides, frustration and longing. He wants to take Thor by the shoulder and shake him, wants to drop to his knees and beg for something, <i>anything.</i> But he won’t. He refuses to give in.</p><p>“I am, yes,” he says instead, measured, emotionless.</p><p>“Right,” Thor nods.</p><p>Silence stretches between them. Loki stares up from where he sits perched on the edge of the bed. Thor stares back, unblinking. Fire and ice burn between them. He opens his mouth to speak.</p><p>Thor beats him to it. “I watched you die,” he repeats.</p><p>It cuts Loki like a knife. Tears suddenly burn in his eyes, blurring his gaze. “I know,” he says. What more can he say?</p><p>“I can’t do it again. I can’t watch you leave again, Loki,” Thor says, voice barely above a whisper. “It’ll destroy me.”</p><p>A single tear escapes him, despite his efforts. Ice freezes his veins. Emotion engulfs him, and for once he lets it spill from him as he says, “I know. I’m sorry, brother, I am, truly, I-”</p><p>“Marry me.”</p><p>For just a moment, just a single second, Loki sees himself standing on the very edge of the universe that resides in Thor’s eyes. Everything around him stills. Stars line his vision; colour explodes around him. And then he falls, stomach swooping, breath punched from his lungs.</p><p>“What?” he says, because that’s all there is to say.</p><p>“Marry me,” Thor repeats. His voice is steady, not a tremor. He sounds completely confident, earnest and sure in the way only Thor can be.</p><p>“I, but, I.” Loki can’t breathe. The universe is spinning around him, he’s falling, <i>falling.</i> “What?”</p><p>“Please, Loki,” Thor says, eyes slipping closed. He looks pained. Loki can feel his heart shattering and repairing over and over with every beat. He says the only thing he can think. He says it because there’s no way, no possible explanation other than this one, and because he has to say something.</p><p>“I, I have just fought along side you, I assure you brother I have no desire to be anything but peaceful towards Asgard, I,”</p><p>“No,” Thor says, eyes snapping back open. Light shines from him, trapping Loki in his view. “No, that’s not. No. Loki, that’s not why I asked. I can’t be without you anymore. I can’t do it. I have worshipped you since long before I knew how. You are, brother, you are <i>everything</i> to me.” He sinks to his knees, pressing against the front of Loki’s legs. “You’re everything.”</p><p>“Thor…” Loki says, and he’s drowning.</p><p>“Marry me,” Thor whispers. “Please.”</p><p>Loki’s eyes close. Tears spill unceasing down his cheeks. He can’t think, he can’t feel, but he knows. He knows. It was always going to come to this. “Yes,” he whispers, barely a sound freezing in the space between them.</p><p>“Loki?” Thor says, and the tiny inflection of hope in his voice hurts the most. It cuts him deeper, sharper than anything that has come before.</p><p>“Yes,” Loki says, opening his eyes. “I’ll marry you.”</p><p>Finally, Thor breaks. Loki gently falls beside him as sobs overwhelm him. Clutching at one another, they cry. Loki presses their foreheads together, one blue hand coming up to cup Thor’s face, catching tears as they fall. At the centre of the new universe, they break.</p><p>Together.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>i hope you liked it, comments and kudos are always treasured</p></blockquote></div></div>
</body>
</html>